Bailout

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village.
The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.
Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day, a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna.
The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit.
The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.
The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything.
No one earned anything.
However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works

David Simpson. MCIM, MLIA(Dip)
Mainstream Marketing UK Ltd
0845 201 0070
07788 426066
www.msm-uk.co.uk
www.twitter.com/MSMUK

Nick Dewey

nicholasdewey-97331

Bailout

I heard some geezer saying that Greece will need another bailout in the summer of 2012 as well as this pre easter bailout.

1 comments

Heather Baggaley

heatherbaggaley-208284

Bailout Film

Well I would put myself up for the German tourist - they never seem to lose. Now where did I put my beach towel...o look it's over there on that sun lounger. Silly me!

0 comments

Heather Baggaley

heatherbaggaley-208284

Bailout Film

Go for it....bout time we all had a laugh about the reality of it.

1 comments

David Simpson

davidsimpson8-315196

Bailout

I was approached the other day by an international film producer asking permission to make a short film of this blog. How do you think I should play it? All suggestions welcome! David Simpson

1 comments

Daniel Marshall

danielmarshall-662065

Bailout

Nicely written. I would laugh but, it is a little too close to the truth. Find the problem; you can then find the solution. Too much government? Too much focus on security rather than opportunity and now there is neither? What would a household do in this situation? Dan Marshall dan.marshall@activseo.com dan.marshall@activwebdesign.com info@activdoncaster.com

0 comments

gre dfher

gredfher-674241

Bailout

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0 comments

sdghjty ghjty

sdghjtyghjty-674203

Bailout

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0 comments

Fay Olinsky

personalchef-34218

Bailout

If only economy were that simple...in reality all the above may be true but at the last hurdle the hooker would more than likely send the €100 note back to her home country, never to be seen again in the local economy... and that is how the whole darn mess started in the first place. F

0 comments

Annemieken Van Reepingen

annemiekenvan-reepingen-590594

Bailout

Great story! Made me smile. But I still don't understand how the bailout package works. Annemieken Equine Assisted Coach KIVIK

1 comments

Gordon Wheaton

gordonwheaton-294525

Bailout

Brilliant little blog David Regards Gordon

0 comments

Doug Holman

dougholman-78336

Sounds Like The Shadow Chancellor Talking (Balls)

Very much enjoyed the story, David! Sadly, the cold harsh reality is that individually and nationally we're all carrying far too much debt. Before the German tourist arrived, the Greek villagers may each have owed €100 but each was due €100. Assets minus liabilities started as zero and ended as zero. There was no debt problem, just a minor cash flow issue. In reality, for every member of the Greek labour force, the share of the national debt is about €70,000. If the German labour force picks up the tab, that's an extra €8,000 each on top of their own national debt, which is €40,000. Add the debts of Spain, Italy, Portugal, Ireland and France and the Germans end up in more debt than the Greeks are now. Dare I suggest that extricating yourself from that much doo-doo takes more than a "Merkel?" During the late 1970s, the UK economy was going downhill fast. (Just Google: "winter of discontent" or "crisis, what crisis?" or "James Callaghan" or "Denis Healey.") By coincidence, I'd secured a five year secondment to Germany. Showing a British passport had become progressively more embarrassing. Eventually, Britain was bailed out by the same International Monetary Fund that it had helped create. Throughout, while the deutschmark advanced inexorably against the pound, we knew that one way or another, this had to end in tears. OK, it's taken a little longer than expected but by the time the eurozone draws its last breath, Germany will have poured trillions into the financial abyss known as southern Europe. The question we should be asking is - who will bail out Germany? Last time, it was the Americans but they're already $15 trillion in debt. And the guy many think should be held accountable for relaxing the controls which allowed so much toxic debt to accumulate in the first place was a "prudent" Presbyterian Scot. You couldn't make this up! Cheers, Doug Holman Business Game Ltd, Grayshott, Hampshire, UK www.businessgame.co.uk Helping businesses adapt and grow using simulation games.

2 comments

Richard Evans

richardevansuk

Bailout - not again and again and again and again and again

Funny, pleasing and surprising as this will always be, it's certainly doing its rounds. Still a good submission. Best Regards Richard Evans "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - www.no-more-9to5.com

0 comments

Stella Holman "The Connector"

stellaholman_theconnector

Bailout

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0 comments

Bob Hayward

bobhayward-72139

Bailout

Amazing how homour can cut through the crazy world we built... Sincere regards ~ Bob Hayward Read Be More Effective's first book Be More Effective Ltd..... Creating Involvement..... Enriching Talent.....

1 comments

Fiona Hayes

fionahayes1-435654

complex adaptive systems

The thing about complex adaptive systems is that they cannot be predicted and controlled. They emerge and then we can look back at the emergence and see the patterns of emergence and make some sense of them. We are approaching this complex problem as if it a simple linear solution will work; i.e. apply this measure and this measure and X will happen. It won't because it is a complex or even chaotic problem. Fiona It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change. (Charles Darwin)

0 comments

Fiona Hayes

fionahayes1-435654

Bailout Crazy

We have built a system which is unsustainable and therefore needs to be completely restructured. More of what we have done in the past will not work, is not working. This needs a complete paradigm shift, looking at what is truly valuable and building a system that is supportive of the many rather than the few. In my opinion, bailing out the banks was a mistake. Rather the governments should have let them go under and bailed out the people. If as banks/building societies had gone under then whatever they were owed by people was cancelled, then people banking with those particular banks would have owned their house outright and would have no outstanding loans. This would have applied also to outstanding business loans. The money spent on bailing out the banks could have been used to maintain the pensions schemes and savings those banks hold under a public bank that did not pay out bonuses. I bank with banks that did not need a bailout so I would not have beneffitted personally directly from this, however, imaging I had £700 to £1000 per month extra in my pocket from cancelled loans and I now owned my house! I would have put that money into refurbishment, or a second house, or expanding my business or a pension fund or putting a green energy system into my home, or , or, whatever. The economy would have kept rolling round. Instead we bailed out the banks and they stopped lending and carried on paying themselves bonuses. I realise that last statement is a simplification of the bailout and I probably have not taken everything into account, I am no financial expert, however it seems that bailouts and escalating debt based finance doesnt work and we need to start with a clean sheet, and I suspect that cancelling all debt but upholding peoples savings would have cost a lot less than the bank bailout. Fiona It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change. (Charles Darwin)

0 comments

Witold Anusz

witoldanusz-245210

Bailout

Nooo fajjne, alle o coo wogóele tu biega? Nara, W

1 comments

Steve Hall

stevehall3-99768

Bailout

I am afraid we need much, much more in Spain I just read a 4 year old wiki on Spain - "vibrant economy, 8th biggest in the world" Sadly a few months later we are in a complete mess and I advised the writer that: The economy is almost bankrupt, a new government was voted in last week as the previous was destroyed by 44.6% youth unemployment, 1,4 million empty homes, 280,000 homeless, 22% national unemployment, banks closing/being closed regularly, construction almost at zero, cars sales 50% down in 2 years, house prices down by as much as 60% in some areas in 4 years, a balance of payment deficit that screams, some of the worst education in Europe and just about the lowest rate of bilingualism (Spanish/English) in Europe. To make matters worse the euro (which Spain cannot afford to be BUT cannot afford NOT to be in!) has strengthened against the pound to the extent that 750,000 retirees have seen their pension spend slashed by almost 30% in 3 years. House repossessions are at record levels. IF you are getting paid in dollars, Scandinavian currency or the pound by international employers you may be OK but otherwise moving to Spain in the eye of the storm is only for those with a BIG heart. The Spanish government was PAYING unemployed legal workers to leave! That should give you some idea of the size of the challenge here! Sadly the German tourist of your story sold up years ago and now only comes back on an Air Berlin cheapie. Kind Regards Steve Hall Follow my CYCLE journey through England (and beyond!) to raise awareness of the world´s 45 million refugees. Please visit:www.theshirt2010.co.uk

1 comments

Keith Hubert

keithhubert-262615

Bailout

However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism and waiting for the next German visitor.

1 comments

Heather Baggaley

heatherbaggaley-208284

Bailout

I wish my bank account did!!! It is almost reminiscent of the days when it would cost you 100€ to travel through each EEC country, exchanging to each currency as you went. though in those days, you definitely did not end up with it back in your pocket. Are they coming back? Warm regards, Heather Baggaley www.motivate-plus.com 'At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities'

1 comments

Sashi Rao Avasarala, MBA

sashiavasarala-364571

Bailout

Very Nice and funtastic too, touched the sad part of reality. Its every one's mistake and every one is suffering out of it, mostly useless governments need to be blamed. May Super natural Intelligence help humans to survive and excel again. :))

0 comments

Jeremy Harbour

unity-23450

Bailout

can I have 100 euros please, spain needs sorting out www.jeremyharbour.com

2 comments

Mike Turner

miketurner

Bailout

Nice one David First time I heard this story it was about an Irish village. How long before it's being told about a Surrey village? Mike Turner

1 comments

Nic Oliver

nicoliver

Bailout

Dear David That's what happens when we have an economic system based on the circular flow of income, together with businesses operating accounting systems based on efficiencies. Great story, thank you Kind regards Nic Connect - Engage - Share www.nic-oliver.com email twitter linkedin

1 comments

Gloria Darni

gloriadarni-417288

Bailout

made me laugh....not in a good way....I too beleave that we would end up somehow paying for the bailout like Bob said! Great stuff...keep it coming!

1 comments

Emil Pop

emilpop-43208

Bailout

Lucky me I am building my own economy out of the system, not easy, hard to talk other out of the system, but possible! The system is about to fall apart, will you fall apart with them or have your own little survival local cashless economy? Emil Pop Mind Your Business Ultralight Aviation Enthusiasts Home Store Free plans for recreational (Ultralight, LSA and microlight) flight machines, want one, build one! Not good with tools? Buy one! Ready to fly planes and helicopters, gyroplanes and gliders.

0 comments

Bob Earnshaw

BusinessPlus

Bailout

David, Nice story. Only problem is that the Hotel's till is now 100 euros light, and no room booking. So yes, just like real life, someone will end up paying for the bailout! Regards, Bob Earnshaw

0 comments

Stan Broadhurst

stanbroadhurst-134242

Bailout

funtastic David...many thanks... Stanb

1 comments

John Deighton

johndeighton-203981

Bailout

Hi David, so true... you'd like this too probably. Got to love how Nigel Farage MEP tells it straight to those EU Bureaucrats! http://youtu.be/Ze8n2HY8KOw http://uk.linkedin.com/in/johndeighton

2 comments

Suzi Allen

suziallen-320755

Bailout

Love it!

1 comments

Stuart Chalmers

stuartchalmers-309448

Bailout

"Priceless", Nuff said Best Regards Stuart Chalmers www.iwantrouters.com I Want Stuff Limited t: 0844 893 2151 f: 0844 811 7899 e: contact@iwantrouters.com blog: iwantrouters.wordpress.com Twitter: www.twitter.com/iwantrouters

1 comments

Eric Sutherland

ericsutherland1-131530

Bailout

Hi David, Thank you for the days entertainment, but you forgot the Banker still charges bank charges for withdrawing the cash. Regards Eric Sutherland T/A Trog Associates Ltd View Storefront View 20% of each book Business Networking on ecademy Marketplace Author and Publisher Services Q & A on my Blog Skype Id: eric.sutherland1 Know Me for the knowledge I have in doing Business Process Analysis and Business and Technical Writing Like Me because I am willing to share my knowledge Follow Me so I can help you to be better at using my knowledge

1 comments

Fiona Hayes

fionahayes1-435654

Bailout Crazy

It is a crazy system! You have to admit we have created a crazy system. It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change. (Charles Darwin)

1 comments