I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Hi all

I have never had a conversation about stress before but recently have been working with someone who does suffer from stress which manifest in mood swings, deflation, and feeling the weight of responsibility.

It dawned on me that I have the same symptoms and feel the same pressures but I keep them all to myself and have never discussed them openly.

Do you suffer from stress ? and if so how do you cope or manage it ?

Thanks - Mick

Mick Say
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Richard J Francis

richardfrancis1-363696

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Brave post Mick - well done for posting it up. Yes - I do - but I tend to find I now separate out what I can influence and manage from what I can't. I don't watch news on TV for exactly that reason (not to mention half the time I think it's a control mechanism - but don't get me on a hobby horse). Scale what's important and schedule what & when (and try and discipline yourself to stick at it). Get pleasure from small things (a good example is tickling the stomach of my German Shepherd - though don't try this with someone else's German Shepherd unless you fancy the nurse in your local A&E) . Check yourself before letting fly. Maintain a sense of humour - it's your best weapon against life's nasties. If all the above fails - listening to "I wanna be sedated" by the Ramones at full volume through my cans usually does the trick!

1 comments

Jane Lewis

janelewis-326079

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

A good few years ago I did a diploma in stress management, so I could teach it to others. There was a lot that I found personally useful, as well as useful for my students. One of the things that the course probably glossed over was the potential complexity of stress. it can be a relatively straightforward affair, but often it isn't because the causes themselves can be complicated. And there can be a close relationship between stress and depression (I managed to go from stress to depression all in one shot, and it took me a long time to recover). There is certainly a close relationship between and stress and number of physiological illnesses - heart disease being but one. We are familiar with many of the causes (too much pressure at work, bereavement, relationship problems etc). One area which is well known to psychologists, but less often explored by doctors is 'unforgiveness' - harbouring resentment, a sense of revenge or a sense being hurt or wronged that we just can't forgive. That is v. destructive on all levels. The Hawaiian forgiveness technique of Ho'oponopono is one of the very few techniques i know of which actually teaches you how to forgive, rather than just talking about what a good thing it is. It has certainly saved my sanity!

0 comments

Jo Berry

joberry-638766

Good plan

Hi Mick I love your plan because it is your plan and it sounds realistic. You need to complete tasks before you can take a break. Also you seem to be changing the root of the stress and then creating a new way of living. I think it has to be that way. with all my support Jo

1 comments

Alan Bowman

alanbowman-330504

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Mick Admire your frankness and all the best and get that full check over done Mick, can recommend it from personal experience and Health is Wealth and all else falls in to place behind that. Cheers Alan

1 comments

Victoria Bullis

victoriabullis-201999

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

GREAT blog title, Mick. Every single person today is experiencing stress; even if from apathy or boredom (which has been labeled one of the biggest stresses human endure...). I feel that in today's world, it is important to make a part of our everyday life noticing where the stresses are, and finding conscious ways of dealing with/counteracting them-- such as in the ways we have ensured that we fit in exercise regimens, relaxation time/family time, extra nutrition such as vitamins, meditation etc: if we don't the likelihood of stress coming out in some physical form increases dramatically. The old mind-body connection... Victoria

1 comments

Carolyn Williams

carolynwilliams-253741

#Oi Mr. Say a STRESS update pweeezeee?

Have you found a better balance yet? Meanwhile here's a reminder; Harmony C:)x

0 comments

Alan Bowman

alanbowman-330504

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Hi Mick Got to join Danielle on the nagging front please have the blood test and any others that your Dr suggests, Health is Wealth and all other material matters do not matter. Cheers and aw ra best Alan LSG

1 comments

Danielle de Valera

daniellede-valera-668759

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Mick, how's that doctor's appointment for a complete blood test going? Sorry to nag, but it's important.

2 comments

Stella Holman "The Connector"

stellaholman_theconnector

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Mick, Doesn't matter how busy you are it is important to have a good balance of work, rest and play. We all have to sleep, but the time out to "play" seems to get forgotten. I now make a plan to have at least one evening out to socialize over the weekend, that also give me something to look forward too. Has certainly helped me alot - remember if you loose your health and peace of mind, you won't be able to work so do ease up Mick and take time to enjoy yourself once in a while! Best wishes Stella Stella Holman-TheConnector . Social Media Consultancy Combining Technology with Networking to generate LEADS for Business" "Win an all expenses paid holiday!!! Register and watch the movie and I will enter you into the prize draw

1 comments

ed percival

edwardpercival-668177

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Mick, having recovered from a cardiac arrest almost six years ago, i decided not to participate in stress any more if i can. My healing team call me CALM now thanks for opening the conversation ed

1 comments

Tony Waithe

tonywaithe1-673272

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

The Power of Love! If we remind ourselves a little more often of the Importance of our History in particular, then it can only truly be better mentally for each and every-one of us We are very much an important piece of the Earth's mystery so we have to fall back in love with ourselves to realise the beauty of who we really are Snatch back the love which sits deep inside all of YOU TT (Making His-Story) ps The stressed out mindset is getting us nowhere but in deeper muddy waters & that's not good Too many people are lost in stress because they have lost the love deep inside of themselves. Its small steps of positive mental action which will make the difference & help to turn things around..

2 comments

Robert Oosthout

robertoosthout-155636

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Annabel, As you can see I wrote about being 100% responsible. That means that I created all kind of support systems to keep me in good health, like transcendental meditation two times daily for 20 minutes since 1982, Centerpointe, going to the fitness school two times a week, write daily what I am thankful for, pray dialy, created a dreambook, created dream boards, etc., created projects to realize my dreams and execute them, being a member of all kinds of networks of people that support me, like Ecademy. Being married to my most wonderful and loving wife Ottoline, having created three wonderful, happy and successful children, doing the work I love being a/an advocaat/barrister/attorney at law and a mediator and at the same time a politician. So I create my life and cocreate the world I am living in. I am a very happy man, because sofar I realized all my dreams and I am still realizing them and of course it doesn't mean I had no set backs. The secret is to always look for the positive side of why things happen in your life. what do I have to learn from this, or as Martijn Aslander said: What is the gift for me in this? So let's take stress. What is the gift for me in stress. It makes me realize that it is a condition I don't want. So I can decide what I do want and make it happen. Robert Oosthout.

2 comments

RealSteveHolmes Fading away soon

cvsage-38854

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Hey, Mick, wot a great thread you can have when it does not contain branding, business, self-improvement and personal effectiveness BS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 comments

Christopher BABAYODE

christopherbabayode-47596

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Robert, I respect your opinion but couldn't disagree more, stress is very real. I would say that what you refer to is mental stress, which you correctly say (at least to a certain extent) is a matter of perception. However even mental stress if not dealt with will manifest as physical symptoms. Researchers are now saying that appraisal of stress is not what they previously thought. You cannot control your bodies response ie the secretion of hormones but you can choose your reaction. A curious experiment was performed which I believe demonstrates how real stress is. Polygraphs which measure galvanic response (like when someone is lying) were hooked up to a Navy Veteran who had witnessed Navy planes being shot down in world war II. Cells were taken from the lining of his mouth and transported 7 miles away and viewed on simultaneous video pick up. He was then shown video of fighter pilots being shot down, even though he was not in danger the cells 7 miles away showed the same stress response as he did on the polygraph machine he was hooked up to. Acknowledging we have the power to respond intellectually to stress is one thing but knowing the body responds is more empowering so we can tackle the cause of stress at it root mentally and through biochemistry.

0 comments

James Coakes

jamescoakes-61537

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

I think there's a difference between good stress and bad stress. Good stress is better called strecth, when you're pushing yourself in areas where you have competence. If you're feeling bad stress then you may be in the wrong place so either you gain skills if it's worth doing that and you have the space or avoid it if it isn't and you don't. Life's too short.

1 comments

Robert Oosthout

robertoosthout-155636

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Mick, As everything else this is a created conversation. Stress does not exist. I like to see it this way. When we created this conversation was it an empowering one? To me it is not. Stress refers to a situation that we perceive as uncontrollable and are not willing to accept! I already wrote this in a blog of Penny this week. Life is empty and meaningless. We are the meaning making machines. We do so because we are conditioned that way for centuries in order to survive. | am not enrolled in the conversation, because it does not empower me. It only empowers those that are not willing to take 100% responsibility for their own lives. It is like Jack Canfield said, unless you take 100% responsibility for your life, nothing will change. And that does not mean I will not visit the doctor when I am so ill that I cannot cure it myself. Funny thing is that I am almost never ill. It is just not part of my vocabulary. Robert Oosthout.

2 comments

Mortgage Broker Langley

mortgage-brokerlangley-679902

Mortgage Broker Langley

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0 comments

Carolyn Williams

carolynwilliams-253741

Right Mr. Say Keep a Mick Change Of Habit Diary

Dedicating this Post to YOU Please feel free to add to this list contributors extraordinare? C:)x

0 comments

Anna Figiel

annafigiel-87173

I spit on stress - thanks to Mick, Emma and Jo

This really has become quite an amazing discussion. I believe stress is made worse by the assumption that we are alone in suffering it - that everyone else has got their life balance sorted and only we are failing - and we will be judged harshly for it if we let it show. Rationally that's not true, as this blog demonstrates. Emma's brilliant comment is more like a meaty blog in its own right. Thank you, Emma, for showing me I'm not the only female with stress issues caused by men. I'm sure many reading here will take heart from your words. Jo, again it's easy to assume (ridiculously) that someone who achieves remarkable things, as you do, must have some kind of immunity against stress. But we are all human. And I am inspired by your positive attitude toward what your move will ultimately bring. Best wishes Anna

3 comments

Jo Berry

joberry-638766

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Great blog and after a sleepless night I am in the mood for contributing! I have had post traumatic stress disorder and though the symptoms are almost gone, It has left me with capacity to go to high stress levels very quickly. I am working on healing the emotional and physical wounds and it takes time. Right now with the news the house I am renting is sold and we (me and my 2 daughters) need to move I am aware of my stress levels increasing. This means my sleep is light, my eczema is worse,and my ability to cope is weakened. I start worrying and panicking with the money challenges and practical challenges with the physical task of moving. I have decided though this move is an opportunity which will take me somewhere where I can live a more nurtured and supportive life. I need more fun and friends nearby. So though this is a stressful moment, I intend to create a less stressful life! I have herbs rhodiola rosea which help me sleep and am meditating every day and walking in nature. I eat well and drink loads of water which I know helps. I am smiling as I write this because the truth is however bad I can feel, this is a million times better than 8 years ago! Wishing everyone some stress free time this weekend Jo

3 comments

Emma James

emmajames-71240

What a great blog Mick

and such a wealth of open, insightful, informative Comments. This is where Ecademy shows it's true colours for me, the supportive (collaborative) infrastructure. As to your question around stress, erm yes. It's part and parcel of our daily lives but the period from 2004-2011 has been particularly challenging and the friendships and support I've found through Ecademy, both off and online have been instrumental in re-asserting my faith in (men) human nature and vital to relieving my social isolation (single parent for the last decade with common attendant financial restrictions - divorce itself didn't help on that score!). How do I cope with my stressors? The big stuff I have worked off and on through counselling and pyschotherapy. Infact I'm starting a course of counselling next week around my issues over men, sorry fellas but there's history at play here. I couldn't believe it when I logged on to Ecademy in December 2004 and read through various profiles to see that men were lauding their wives and children. It was a breath of fresh air and of all the platforms I network on, that sense of family orientation combined with our business focus, draws me back. At times I drop off the radar due to crushing depressions - seasonal and often financial worries are the root cause - but 2009-11 was due to personal limiting factors - they're not in play anymore so I can truly be myself again and that means I can embrace my networking which is downtime for me and a chance to reach out and interact with others. When a significant relationship broke down last May, I had to redefine my life (again) so took up sailing :); http://blym.org.uk/ something I've always thought about doing Re-instated the golf and signed up on a membership special offer deal here; http://www.cpgc.co.uk/ which also satiates my love of being outside and exercising and finally, I joined British Naturism to make my Naturism official and after some deliberation, "came out" on Twitter, lol. The Naturism for me is all about relaxation. It's entirely non sexual, although I'm appalled at some of the supposedly naturist publications/sites which claim to be Naturist and were it not for the fact I don't want to alienate large sectors of the Naturist community (I'm doing a pretty good job as it is rubbing up some members because I'm so active and vociferous) am holding back from blogging it but it may spill out one day. I retreat with my Naturism from the world at large. Again it's about being outdoors and when the weather is suitable, naked obviously but with this being the UK, large proportions of our time, we're swathed in clothes. I'm the worst. Unless it's reasonably warm I'm shrouded in a coat, hat, gloves, scarf to play boules which is the source of much hilarity from hardier members. The Community as a whole are very welcoming and accepting. Rather like the camping/caravanning fraternity. It's a very non judgemental, trustworthy sector of society and I'm gaining some wonderful new friends through the sailing, golf and naturism so it's not all about juggling business issues with family obligations or my online input/friendships, it's very much about what I do with my free time too. British Naturism is running a promotion at the moment called the Great British Skinny Dip during January and February which I took part in at my local Sun Club, Diogenes. Diogenes has embraced Social Media and after contacting Bucks TV, Richard, the Presenter filmed this piece about Diogenes and the members - be warned, contains nudity http://www.buckstv.co.uk/buckstv/index.html but this is what true naturism is all about, relaxed non sexual, totally at ease with the human body and perfectly normal. And I'm with Georgina/Carolyn on the benefits of meditation/diet/nature. Anything that you find relaxing, just do it Mick. It really is a question of blocking time off to do it otherwise you'll keel and it will be the wrong type of keel ;) A problem shared sometimes takes on a different perspective. It has a diminished magnitude and I don't know about you but when I'm over-tired or perhaps I've got so uptight I've had a bit to drink and then pay the price the following day, that's when little inconsequential matters seem vitally important and over-sensitivity, indeed near paranoia, becomes the order of the day. The common self medicators, alcohol, nicotine etc are just supressants and don't allow us to feel or see life fully. Certainly next week when I start the counselling I'll be steering clear of alcohol for a while. It's painful enough going through counselling without trying to avoid what it throws up. That said, there's no harm in alcohol in moderation, it's just the (largely) middle class scourge of binge drinking or regular imbibing which preys on body and mind. As for the fags. I didn't know that about sunflower seeds Georgina, thank you. Black Pepper aromatherapy oil is supposed to be beneficial too and I love the list Christopher posted up - great fodder there! go well, have a lovely weekend and try and take some down time all the best from a fellow insomniac Follow @MassageBucks Massage Therapy http://empireavenue.com/?t=gsys9en4 British Naturism

1 comments

Best Franchises

bestfranchises-679875

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0 comments

Georgina Lester

georginalester

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

I too suffer from appalling insomnia when I am working on something or getting stressed about a project - it drives me nuts. Give it up. Stress is unhealthy!! If you have a habit of keeping it to yourself and getting on with it regardless of what you feel - then just stop it! ;) Definitely reach out to others more often - it does help to lighten the load. Your boardroom is no doubt excellent for that. There are loads of people around you who hold you in high regard who would be more than willing to help out, listen and support in any way that you need. Accept them! For me I find that ten second meditations throughout the day - where you just shut your eyes, concentrate on breathing and just LETTING GO can help to break the habit of stressful thinking where you can't switch off your brain. Diet too is vital - some foods promote stress - others help to ameliorate the worst enabling you to deal with other external factors better - they give you a kick start to getting control. Everyone is an individual so listening to how your body responds will help find the foods that make a difference. Generally speaking though most people find that eating lots of raw foods rather than things that have been overly cooked or processed are definitely much better. Low fat, low salt and low sugar diets are obviously good too but personally I go for superfoods - like sprouted beans and seeds, as well as some of the more unusual things. It is amazing what a difference just having a good smoothie every day can make. Adding lots of greens too is worth definitely worth it. Yoga, meditation, herb teas, breath exercises can work wonders. I won't bother talking about the smoking - although I would suggest that eating sunflower seeds are great because they have the same stimulant/relaxing effects that nicotine has. Some people I know who gave up smoking found that they helped enormously. Above all though - let people know more often - it is amazing how getting into the habit of sharing can help with reducing the stressful influences.

1 comments

Katie-Ellen Hazeldine

katieellenhazeldine-186355

I spit on stress - and scratch its face

I am learning to fret less as I'm getting older, to more easily freeze out what I don't want. I will send the power of 'Ice' something's way if I have to, in self defence. It still costs me nervous energy dealing with rubbish. Definitely. Plus I have a strong sense of my obligations in general and set the bar high, call it pride, arrogance whatever, so stress is inevitable there. But also I 'wunt be druv', I'm good at digging my heels in when I want to, and I have a keen sense of the absurd which helps...well, it helps me, anyway. Source: http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/stressed.jpg

3 comments

Sadie Murray

sadiemurray-275058

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Mick well said: "I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence" :-) I totally agree and support what Carolyn says"….we, who are sufferers, can hide it well until it splits relationships and affects our health". That you must first take care of yourself before you can be effective at looking after others! Carolyn your "tip" on love of nature works for me. I have discovered that 100% of the time going to our Botanical Gardens works for me! I am so fortunate to have found a place such as this so close to home…much of everything wrapped up in one area of tranquility and its ability to restore my mental, spiritual and physical strength! Regardless of if the stress is brought on by illness or death of a loved one, personal challenges, spending quality time with a friend who needs my support, etc., it has become a sanctuary where I can take a walk, sit to absorb the beauty of nature, scents from the many plants and flowers or simply enjoy the silence and serenity in the midst of activity! So your question Mike "Do you suffer from stress?" Yes, from time to time, but nothing like I went through in 2011! Thank goodness for my Faith, good friends, the great teacher "experience" using the technique an holistic approach and my beloved Botanical Gardens...- I many not have been able to endure let alone survive and thrive.:-)

2 comments

Christopher BABAYODE

christopherbabayode-47596

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

As you probably know some stress is good for you, Hans Selye is credited as being the expert scientist in this field, his model is worth looking into. Adaptogens are great to help relieve the biochemistry of stress. They are safe and non addictive.

1 comments

Clive Eplett

cliveeplett-656327

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

I think you all need to take up sailing. It's the ultimate sport, for all ages. My hero Charlie is still out there, all year around, in his late 80s! For a precious half a day, the rest of the world disappears.

1 comments

Carolyn Williams

carolynwilliams-253741

Hi Carolyn :O)))

@Unfortunately I don't get much time for my hobby's which include photography and motorcycles - not necessarily at the same time... Starting this thread will help you externalise the symptoms of STRESS. Art, writing poems and sculpting are all creative forms of engaging the right brain. That creativeness is screaming at YOU to act more on that side of YOU. So your overly busy Delegate Time management means you are disciplined to say @after 10 hours I am now going to 'lose' myself in a pastime'. You are running on adrenaline and that pump will only go 'hiccup free' for so long. If you love motorcycles bring it OUT, get on it and take it off road somewhere? REPORT BACK when you've DONE IT!! ;)XX

1 comments

Mike Morrison

rapidbi

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

I think we all do - and we all respond in different ways. some internally & others externally. one of the problems with internal - is that often we think we are "controlling" it - but we are often just kidding ourselves

1 comments

Carolyn Williams

carolynwilliams-253741

You can turn the table around on influence

@Sensitive people cannot avoid stress. Rather than try to ignore it they need to learn ways to manage it. Steve was spot on here. I applaud you highlighting your new stress awareness Mick. I ran college adult education courses on stress management and this goes hand in hand with assertiveness ~ learning how to say no, to prioritise and delegate. When I first met you :) I spotted you suffering stress in silence, but kept it under my hat. The best way forward is for you to understand it and then accept that we, who are sufferers, can hide it well until it splits relationships and affects our health. It's because I'm health trained I spot it before the person even knows it. When people are brought up ' to put others first' they tend to neglect themselves. If you look after yourself, you will be more effective at looking after others!!. When I first took up my corporate role, I had concentrated all my training programmes around stress management and relationship/ career stress. These teach you to recognise symptoms but it's coming out that's important!. In the early 80's I was discouraged in using the word STRESS or to say Managers were stressed, so with my counseling 'hat' on, I cleverly built in a Health and Fitness umbrella that allowed anyone who suffered to drop in! :) Stress #Tips Now that you have come out, you can look at ways of de stresssing. Nothing can beat Love and Love of Nature! Do you have a hobby?. If you do, have you become so pre occupied you don't give your hobby any thought?. If so START that hobby up again.eg: Photography Drop me a line if I can add #Sparkle to your new awareness curve?. C:)xx

2 comments

Gordon Wheaton

gordonwheaton-294525

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Good blog and question Mick. I think everybody suffers from stress to a certain extent. I, myself, just keep it to myself as much as possible and sit and fume in silence Regards Gordon

1 comments

Martin Dewhurst

martin-dewhurst-30038

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

My stress, when it shows up, plays out in overeating. I've probably always done it as a default setting, even though I'd spent a large part of my adult life walking, or at the gym and keeping fit, when I look back there's a common pattern to how I cope (or perhaps don't) through eating for comfort. In very stressful life threatening situations I go very calm, everything becomes like slow motion and I feel like I'm on rails, clear, solid, effortless, strong. Then, conversely and quite stupidly, in relatively trivial situations I can stress myself over seemingly inconsequential things and that's where I can fall down. Like you Mick, this can lead to the odd sleepless night, but more often than not my stress shows up through the day when I've discovered yet another way of not doing things effectively!! I don't see myself as being stressed at the time when I'm actually overeating, it's only in retrospect when I look and see, my God, what on earth are you doing Martin? That's when I become aware that for that period I was asleep (consciously) rather than fully conscious of my actions. Interesting paradox. Must explore that deeper.

2 comments

Massimo Luciani

massimoluciani-394855

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

I have periods of stress that can even be intense and I try to cope with it working out and finding time to play videogames, watching TV and reading more than usual.

1 comments

Mick Say

micksay

Thanks Clive

Hi Clive I think I keep a grip on it and cope well enough - I think that it's a result of a business growing faster than I had expected or was prepared for - the last two months and the next two months are very challenging in terms of time and work-load... Lots of things all coming at once. Roll on April when things calm down and I can be a little more organised and have more help.. Thanks for your comments Clive - Much appreciated. Mick

0 comments

Mick Say

micksay

Nail on head Steve

Hi Steve, I do suffer from sleeplessness, as I seem not to be able to switch-off regardless of how tired I am but manage to keep a grip on the alcohol :-) which is substituted by smoking too much.. I think at the moment I just have too much going on all at once and hope that this will calm down somewhat in the coming two months. Thanks a million for your generous comments Steve - Very much appreciated Mick

2 comments

Clive Eplett

cliveeplett-656327

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

Remind me not to stress you out Mick, the consequence does not sound appealing. I modicum of stress can be beneficial, or we would all be lotus eating. But I've seen the debilitating effects of an excess and like everyone, had my own ups and downs. Over time I have become convinced that stress is the underlying cause of all sorts of health issues. My worst adult illness was a bout of Shingles - I am 100% sure that was stress induced

0 comments

RealSteveHolmes Fading away soon

cvsage-38854

I spit on stress - but remain under it's influence.

I think we all do, Mick, and it's great that you started this theme. I hope people will respond honestly. In my view people resort to what Eric Berne called "automaticity" in order to conceal their stress, even from themselves. That is: they perpetually default to learned behaviour to get them through, rather than stopping to notice where they really are and how they really feel. As if they are ashamed of showing any weakness. Result: neurosis, over-eating, alcoholism, sleeplessness, poor relationships characterised by irritability and sometimes serious, even killer disease. I used to get very stressed out by idiots but now I live peacefully at the seaside with a very calm person. Sensitive people cannot avoid stress. Rather than try to ignore it they need to learn ways to manage it.

0 comments