That;s a Lie!

NLP

is becoming more popular and there is a lot of interest being expressed in some of its techniques and practices but this being a good thing has its problems. Exactly, as some purported Social Media gurus out there who learn a little and peddle a lot, they can cause misconception.

The other day on a UK national digital radio station on a morning show the Jock, talking to his colleagues in the studio, as well as the unsuspecting listening audience said:

Yeah, if they look to the left , they're lying!

An absolute case of a little learning becoming a dangerous thing!

Just for the record (every pun intended) and I hope of some use to you, if you are going to watch people and in particular their faces to glean what is going on with them …. Calibrate what they do!

There are generalisations that are used to explain how humans work but these are not to be used in a general way! …. Calibrate!

Look at the person you are listening to

Watch the person that you are in conversation with and notice the physiological patterns that they use repeatedly and then test them to confirm if what you glean is right.

I am not suggesting that you take the Dr. Cal Lightman approach of standing one foot from their face seemingly staring up their right nostril even if I do love that show!

Eye Accessing Cues

has also been referred to as Mind Reading.

Here is a generalised  way of explaining Eye Accessing Cues , based on looking at a typical Right Handed person:

EYES UP - If they look up they may be assembling pictures in their mind
EYES LEVEL to one side - If they look to the side they may be assembling sounds in their mind
EYES DOWN - If they look down then they may be assembling feelings in their mind or talking to themselves

The degree of how UP LEVEL or DOWN will vary on the person and the complexity or weight of the assembly … Calibrate!   Their eyes may flick slightly in a given direction or make a bold movement in that direction or something in between - we are all different.
We move in the ways that we have practiced most.

See what they do repeatedly with their eyes whilst in the conversation

 

Constructed versus Remembered

To make matters more complicated and this is where most of the misunderstanding occurs:
EYES UP RIGHT - if a person looks UP  to the RIGHT they may be constructing a picture
EYES LEVEL RIGHT - similarly if a person looks LEVEL  to the RIGHT they may be constructing a sound

They may be constructing. It does not mean that they are lying!

It could be that are thinking about what they may say next and trying it out in their mind first - like a dress rehearsal.

They may be lying but you must Calibrate - look at the repeating physiological patterns and test them by asking questions or making statements that presuppose an answer, for example

"I bet you always do that"
"That must be annoying"

EYES DOWN RIGHT - looking DOWN  to the RIGHT is where they may be assembling feelings: emotional, tactile, physiological
- Try this: imagine what its like when you finger tips are frozen?  Where did your eyes go?

Generally speaking, eye movements to the left are remembered:

Eyes UP LEFT remembering a picture of what happened or what they saw
Eyes LEVEL LEFT remembering the sound of what happened or what they heard
Eyes DOWN LEFT talking to themselves

You could presuppose that a left handed person would use their brain in the opposite direction to a right handed person - be careful! They may not conform or may only conform in part. They may demonstrate a right handed person's characteristics

Calibrate - look at the repeating physiological patterns and test them

BUT

Here is my best advice!
- Go with your gut instinct because your unconscious mind has listened and watched while you were running your conscious mind, doing the observing thing and that logical thing we do.

Be still, be quiet to allow your unconscious to guide you.

Oh, and the liar?

One of the most efficient way to test a lie is to ask the person to repeat the story backwards .. "Where did you say you were, just before that?" "What did you say a minute ago?"
The chances are that they would have constructed a story line forward in time with no memory of the events they describe, because they didn't exist

Since they didn't actually experience the event by taking in all the information that a real experience would have given to their senses they would find it difficult to construct the story in reverse unless they have rehearsed their story well.

Even then the lie will leak and you can detect it with practice.

NOW

wait until you get onto studying what people do with their heads yet alone the words they use! Here, we have only considered what they do with their eyes

Happy Calibrating and be careful of helpful Radio Jocks!

 

images used: Lie to Me fanpop.com
Pinocchio appears on may web sites but the original is probably from The Disney Company

Ammar Asjad

ammarasjad-670561

That;s a Lie!

cheap eye exams yes heheheh take eye exams

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Alan Stevens

stevensa-38366

That's a Lie!

Arthur, Interesting stuff. Thanks for posting. On the other hand, it could be that some NLP practitioners are liars, for example the ones who peddle the "only 7% of communication is words" myth. I'm glad to see that may NLP experts have now rejected this piece of nonsense. As Michael says, the best way to avoid liars may be to associate with honest people. Best wishes Alan Alan Stevens, Past President, Global Speakers Federation, 2010-2011 Communication, PR and Reputation Management Author of Ping! Presenter of Media Coach Radio Show Follow me on Twitter

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Michael Heaney

michaelheaney-53285

Don't talk to me about lying charlatans

Alternatively - don't go around talking to people you intent to mistrust. You will be projecting your own unstrustworthiness on to eveyone with whom you come into contact and your own intense staring will quickly display, to all watching, that if anyone is likely to be dodgy it is the shifty character not really actively involved in the dialogue, but busy practising their own half-learned sleekit pseudo psychological mind game techniques and identifying themself as the one person not to be trusted. Either them, or the one with the masonic handshake. Never trust anyone who exposes themself as desperate to get a secret advantage over others. All rights reserved. Users may download and print extracts of content from this blog or comment for their own personal and non-commercial use only. Republication or redistribution of Michael Heaney's content, is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Michael Heaney. Benchwhistler Associates Ltd and its logo and tag lines are trademarks of MIchael Heaney or Benchwhistler Associates Ltd. © Michael Heaney 2011 Benchwhistler Associates Ltd Planned People Maintenance - Enhancing the Performance of your most important asset™ www.benchwhistler.com Know Better™

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