Are YOU, YOUR team or YOUR organisation 'stuck'? Like to break out and create something new? Then contact me on 07778 058 026 I hope YOU are continuing to create all you wish for on your journey through life - if you need help, please ask me or your fellow members of the Creative Solution Finding Club with my best wishes for your health, wealth and happiness in 2013, Paul :-) Remember World Peace Day is on 21 September every year with a special emphasis this year on Global Truce on 21 September 2013.
Written by an African child...
When I born, I black When I grow up, I black When I go in sun, I black When I scared, I black When I sick, I black And when I die, I still black And you white fellow When you born, you pink When you grow up, you white When you go in sun, you red When you cold, you blue When you scared, you yellow When you sick, you green And when you die, you grey And you calling me coloured???
1. Drop "should" "Should" is like a psychological choke chain (as are its relations "ought to," "have to," "must"). Frequently, the only purpose it serves is to punish, belittle, or deter us. When we say, "I should eat less junk food," we're setting ourselves up for a guilt trip. Using should after the event - "I shouldn't have bounced that cheque" - we take ourselves down a notch and reinforce negative beliefs such as, "I'm not good with money." Eliminate "should" ("ought to," "have to," and "must") from your vocabulary, and see if you don't have more self-confidence and higher self-esteem. Taking an attitude of "the should stops here" also helps lighten up your energy because you spend less time rebuking yourself. 2. Stop trying Trying cannot actually be physically accomplished. For example: try to open your mouth (close it first if it's open!). If your mouth stayed shut, you didn't open it, right? If it opened, even the slightest amount, you did open it. So, while you could contort yourself, fight against opening wide, or open your mouth without resisting, you had only two possible outcomes - shut mouth, or open mouth. The same applies when you speak. If you're asked, for instance, whether or not you'll have a project completed by the close of the workday, make a definitive answer. You can choose "yes," "no," or renegotiate for another time that will work for you. Don't fall into the "I'll try to get it done by five" trap. If you choose to say yes to the project, you can work diligently towards its completion and carry out your commitment. If you instead decide that no, you won't work on the project now, you can move onto other activities without distraction. When your intention is clear (to you and others), you free up your energy to whatever task is at hand. 3. Just say yes or no Whether we behave like it or not, we are the ones who create the life we're living through our thoughts, words, and deeds. And this life is ours to live as we choose. So notice if being a "yes" man or "no" woman is helping you create the life you want. If you say "yes" to please others, because you think you "have to," or because you make up horror stories of what will happen if you say "no," you're giving up the power you have over your life. On the other hand, if "no" is your automatic response, you're shutting yourself off from the richness and possibilities life holds. Whether you say "yes" or "no," choose the word that demonstrates what you really want in that given situation. And remember: Your life depends on it. 4. Can versus will While "can" and "could" are appropriate to use when considering your options (i.e. "I could go to a movie or visit my friend"), they are the weak choice once you've reached a decision. Show your commitment - to yourself, others, Life - by firmly stating your intention with "will" (i.e. "I will join you for lunch"). Will is not a "have to" or "should," and you can change your mind. When you are clear on your choice, using "will" as your declaration of intention lets others know that you're dependable. Perhaps most important though, by using "will," you set a personal standard of commitment for yourself. 5. Negative self-talk Breaking this habit is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. Whether you notice it or not, it's likely that you spend time perpetuating lies about yourself, because they exist in your mind ready for "playback" at any moment. For instance, you trip on something and the thought "I'm clumsy" springs lightning-like into your consciousness. Or, you bounce a cheque and you beat yourself up for your oversight. Or, you shrug off a compliment, saying, "Oh, I didn't really do much." These are all examples of ways we personally sabotage ourselves, and ultimately create struggle and suffering in our lives. So, if you want to be the best you possible, stop making up, buying into, or continuing to believe all lies about yourself. One step you can take to reduce or eliminate the effects of this negative self-talk habit is to install a new "tape" of what is true about you. Whenever one of these personal lies pops into your mind, say to yourself, "That is not true. I am not clumsy (or whatever your accusation is)." Then, replace the lie with: "I am graceful" or "I move easily and know how to avoid obstacles." Make the choice today to let no more negative self-talk enter your mind without it being evicted and replaced by a helpful and faithful tenant of truth and self-acknowledgement. 6. Silence the critic A partner of the negative self-talk we've let run amok in our consciousness is the critic. Our critical mind offers up approval and disapproval for us and others, rarely leaving space for second opinions, alternative views, or extenuating circumstances. Frequently, our mind judges like our lungs breathe - automatically - and we make ourselves or those around us wrong for our beliefs, words, and actions. These condemnations often leave us feeling separated from others who are either "nothing like us," "so beneath us," or "much better than us." Accepting these judgments as fact leads us to a seesaw existence of one up and one down. Take yourself off this ride by noticing when you're in judgment (of yourself or others) and then choosing based on the facts instead of your inner critic's biased viewpoints. 7. Limit your use of always and never Though these two words seem harmless, they can distort your view of reality. Sometimes, for instance, after a rough day at work, you might think, "My boss never shows appreciation for my work," or "She always expects me to deal with customer complaints." While these statements might be true some or even most of the time, chances are there has been at least one exception to them. Holding onto this "always" and "never" attitude simply keeps you from seeing the truth as it really is. Statements that include "all the time" and "none of the time" have a similar reality-altering effect because they imply the same absolutes as "always" and "never." Other words that can have a warping effect on real life are "no one" and "everyone" and "nobody" and "everybody." Your mind might spring these on you when you're feeling discouraged or sad - "Nobody loves me" or "Everyone thinks I'm stupid." Again, if there has ever been an exception to these statements, they are simply not true, and believing them doesn't serve you. 8. I do... When you want to give feedback to someone that might be difficult for them to hear, use an 'I message'. I messages - where you are the subject and your thoughts and feelings, rather than your judgments, are conveyed - can help you deliver sensitive information. Instead of saying "John, you really hurt my feelings when you criticized my work" use an 'I message' and say "John, I felt hurt when you criticized my work". You still acknowledge the person's action without blaming them for your reaction to the situation. 'I messages' allow you to make your point in a way that is easier for the other party to hear. 9. Yes, but... We frequently use the word 'but' when we're saying successive things that contradict each other - "I like him, but I think he's really controlling". Often 'but' has the effect of erasing whatever came before it. As in the earlier example, you might find that praise you offer gets forgotten when you follow it with 'but' and a critical remark. Or your concerns might be lost if you add 'but' and some words of reassurance to protect other people's feelings - "I'm concerned that this advertisement appears to disparage our competitor, but I know the writers have worked hard to come up with something memorable". Notice how you use 'but' and consider what effect it might have on the way your ideas are understood by others. A better alternative is "yes and..."yes and..." 10. Say it like you mean it When you speak, you are delivering a message. What you say however, may not be what your listeners notice, because your words are only part of how you communicate. Your tone of voice and body language convey meaning to your listener too. One study found that our words account for, at most, 14% of how people receive our message. Tone of voice accounted for 86% of the message in phone conversations. In face-to-face encounters listeners receive our message from 7% words, 38% tone of voice, and 55% body language. Although there may be differing opinions over these percentages, it is important to make sure you are delivering the same message at all levels of communication. Saying "I love you" with dispassion, averted eyes, and arms crossed over your chest will unlikely ring true to your listener. The same three words spoken emphatically, accompanied by a twinkle-eyed smiling face, and followed by a lovely warm hug are certain to assure the object of your affection that you do speak the truth.
COMMUNICATION "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." Albert Einstein CREATIVITY The one who follows the crowd, will usually get no further than the crowd. The one who walks alone is likely to discover places no one has ever been before. Creativity in living is not without its attendant difficulties, for peculiarity breeds contempt. And the unfortunate thing about being ahead of your time is that when people finally realize you were right, they will say it was obvious all along. You have two choices in life: you can dissolve into the mainstream, or you can be distinct. To be distinct, you must be different. To be different, you must strive to be what no one else but you can be... Alan Ashley-Pitt IMAGINATION "The best way to predict the future is to invent it." Alan Kay LEARNING "You cannot teach a person anything. You can only help them find it within themselves." Galileo CHANGE "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi SELF WORTH "Every time you suppress some part of yourself or allow others to make you feel small, you are in essence ignoring the owner's manual your creator gave you and destroying your design." Oprah Winfrey VALUE "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who is of no value to him." Ann Landers ACHIEVEMENT "He has the deed half done who has made a beginning." Horace
Paul brings a genuine curiosity of both things and people to his work. He finds inspiration in one area that he can transfer to another to gain fresh insights. Using lateral thinking techniques he nudges people to extend their thinking and make fresh connections. This helps them reframe problems into new areas of possibility. I particularly value the way Paul introduces a supportive challenge to people, edging them out of their comfort zone but all the while showing them it's safe to do so. He has a deep respect for the individual and invests time getting to know their hopes and dreams. Paul takes an appreciative, solutions focussed approach, underlining the skills, knowledge, intuition and wisdom that people have already demonstrated and that they can apply to current challenges. He helps them find and tap into their own inner resources and they grow taller in the process.
Jo Donaldson, Solution Centre Manager, Department for Work and Pensions
Our Greatest Fear by Marianne Williamson from her book A Return to LoveOur greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
"When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take the first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen:There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or, you will be taught how to fly."
by Patrick Overton
It was the first time I had flown in an airliner and only my second time in a plane! Memories include looking down at the Mississippi Missouri river for over an hour as we criss-crossed its meandering path across north america. It was the first time I had travelled beyond Europe. Up until then I had only visited Belgium and Germany. It was the first time I had been to a drive-in movie. My first glimpse of an outdoor movie screen was from the plane as we came into land at Boston during a thunder storm. Donald Duck was showing. It was the first time I had been to a rodeo. You could almost smell the anxiety of the cowboy riders. It was the first time I had seen genuine native americans. Their war dances and their hypnotic music were mesmerising.More highlights coming soon!
Your Intrapersonal Intelligence is Very High
You've spent a lot of time introspecting, and it's really paid off.
You are comfortable with who you are, and you have a life philosophy that you are happy to live by.
And you're always re-evaluating what you believe. Because you learn something new about yourself each day!
You see life as precious, and you wish everyone was safe, happy, and taken care of.
Social justice, human rights, and peace for all nations are all important to you.
While you can't stop war, you try to be as calm and compassionate as possible in your everyday life.
You promote harmony and cooperation. You're always willing to meet someone a little more than halfway.
You bring inspiration and success into people's lives.
You understand how the world works, and you have a knack for money.
Right now, your life is all about goals and progress.
This is nothing new though - you're always moving forward.
You have a lot of perspective in life. You are able to remove your emotions and see the big picture.
You usually bet right in life. You have are intuitive and win often.
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